Birthday Anxiety..What is that?

Why do i feel anxiety before my birthday?

I have had something I call ‘birthday anxiety’ for some years now and it’s hard to explain tbh. I have never heard anyone else talked about them having it so people dont really understand. I havn´t really told many about this just te people closest to me.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE to grow older but the day feels so exhausting for my inner child and filled with major expectations. 

Expectations of my little Nicole being happy, joyful and thankful for everyone showing up that one day.

I think this came from me being in a depressed stage of my life some years ago and it has stuck with me. Maybe it’s the good ol’ people pleaser side in me that couldn’t handle all the attention and love being thrown my way…

Me and my side kick!

Drop the expectations and be in your own core!

I’m usually a person who have no problem being center of attention but when it comes to my birthday I only wanted to disappear.

Luckily for me this is slowly starting to fade away, as i have worked on my self for some years now. As im letting go of the expectations im starting to feel like this is just another day. I don’t have to do anything for everyone. i don’t have to please people by beeing happy even if i don’t want to. And I’m also learning it’s a day that people WANT to show and shower you with love. The more i heal the people pleaser in me the more i can recive love and be in the center even om my bitrhday.

My doggy is my best self love reminder.

I learning how to receive love more and more every day and I have my dog to thank for that tbh. She teaches me to receive love everyday. Soon i´ll look forward to my birthdays again, and this birthday is by far the best i have felt in many years.

Well, happy birthday my inner little Nicole. You deserve all the love, joy happiness universe can bring.